In the Fall of 2008, I began participating in Cosmos Tree Meditations and studying with Founder and Director, Dr. Roger B. Lane. At the time, I was married but did not have any children. I had no idea how much I did not know about mySelf or about being a parent. Before having children, I was certain that my own experience with my parents and the babysitting jobs I held throughout my life were preparation enough to raise my own. Blessedly for me, by the time I did have children I had a foundation of The Teachings that inform Cosmos Tree, Which every day assist me in being the best parent I can be by Teaching me how to be the Spirit that I am.

One Learning I’ve discovered through The Teachings is the true role of a parent. Even now, after studying for almost eight years, it is easy for me to get caught in the illusion that my main purpose as a parent is to forgo mySelf in order to be “of service” to those around me. This is far from the Truth. Dr. Lane says in the Tools For Living Free Article #45 “Using The Tool Of Loving”, “…we tend to think if we’re giving ourselves the time of day we’re being selfish, we’re being egotistical, and it’s just the opposite. We’re being loving … and the best thing we can do for people is take care of our own upset, our own hurt, our own pain…”

Today, Cosmos Tree hosted its Sunday Program. The Program offers two Events by teleconference and I wanted to join both. On Sundays my husband is usually at home to watch the kids while I participate, but this Sunday he wanted to go to the store. I told him I would keep our two daughters during the Event so he could run “stress-free” errands with our son. I thought I was being “helpful”.

In making this choice, I did not give myself the “time of day” and quiet that I really needed to be on the call. I had a hard time listening to the host and was distracted by my girls as they played next to me. After the call, I asked myself if I had really been “helpful” and “of service” to those around me. As you may guess, the answer was “no”. I wasn’t able to give my attention to the girls and took from them the experience of spending time with their father, of whom they see little during the week. I didn’t allow my husband to have the experience of shopping with three little ones, which is not an easy feat but allows lots of Opportunities to practice patience and staying Present – all good things! Finally, I didn’t help myself. I wasn’t fully Present on the call and robbed myself of all the Learning and Growth I could have gained from participating in full.

By the time the second portion of the Program began, my husband was home. I gave him the three children and locked myself in a quiet room in back of the house. I lined up my Consciousness with participating in the Event and I remained Present as the host and other participants shared. It was an Uplifting, rejuvenating, relaxing and fun hour I was able to spend Focused on mySelf. Additionally, I left the call better prepared to manage the energy and chaos the little ones often demonstrate.

Being a devoted wife and mother is really about being devoted to mySelf. To the Spirit that I am. To the God within me. As Dr. Lane says, “… this is key: you can’t love God unless you love yourSelf. And you can’t love yourSelf unless you love God because they’re the Same.” (TFLF #45 Using The Tool Of Loving)

It is from this place, the place of Loving mySelf and Loving God that I can share that Love with my family and truly be of service to them.

Fellow parents, I Lovingly encourage you to give yourSelf the time of day! Attend a (silent) Meditation at Cosmos Tree for an hour – an entire HOUR – of quiet in which you have the Opportunity to Focus on yourSelf! Come to the guided Meditation For Health And Well-Being, where you have the Opportunity to strengthen and heal all the parts of you that are worn, tired, and stressed from parenting! Or simply visit the Cosmos Tree web site, download one of the many Tools For Living Free Publications, and give yourSelf 10, 15, 30 minutes (go ahead – you deserve it!) to read, Learn, and Grow from the Teachings laid out by Dr. Lane! Use these Tools to Love yourSelf and be the best parent you can be!

For further information on this blog, about our Services, reprint rights, media interviews or to have a Service brought to your area, please email

Copyright 2018. Soundly Inc. All rights reserved.