When I was in high school I rarely connected sex to making babies or growing the heritage of families. Likely, because I was a baby myself. Fierce, frisky and a wild child I thought of pregnancy as an unfortunate side effect that could strike down even the bravest and boldest of us Generation Y-ers. Very similar to how I might accidentally ding my rearview taillight while reversing in the high school parking lot post-track meet. I was cavalier to such a point that my blasé approach to conception-free sex was how I thought the biological system worked. I figured that the world was made for enjoyment and playfulness. At least that’s how my petri-dish, microcosm snapshot of life appeared. My existence was filled with young love, laughter and exploration. This was compounded by my rapidly maturing body and an immature teenage frontal lobe.
I may have been the casual result of being raised by the generation of women who first test drove and, consequently, drove stakes firmly into the ground of birth control, free love and feminism. Those were my foremothers. From poodle skirts and a letterman jacket to muddy feet and bellbottom jeans within a single decade, these ladies ran the full revolutionary gamut. And I am their daughter.
My hot blood and disposition were bestowed upon me with the scratchy sounds of their folk records, the dog-eared pages of their heavily underlined books, the scent of their Nag Champa incense and the steely look of their perfectly black-lined eyes. These mothers were wickedly smart. I tasted their desire on my lips and, from a young age, I surged ahead looking for the food that quenched the inborn, human hunger they passed onto me. I launched out of the nest before my down had turned to feather. While reading the handbook on flight mid-descent and plummeting to earth, I pulled myself up with their wings and began to fly.
Physiologically, all the eggs I would ever have in my ovaries were already with me as an infant, when I was born, and even the moments before. Therefore, existing inside of me, while I was in my mother’s womb, was my lineage. I came prepared. Born with the possibility of future life within me. Incredibly precious cargo was given to me – a brave stewardess who, though she had love and charm in spades, lacked in navigation, steadfastness and a motor beyond her own wanton willpower.
My foremothers wound the basis of life up inside of me like a kundalini spiral waiting to rise. I was their shotgun ready to go but something was different about me. I wanted more. I was loaded. My spark was lit. I wanted to rally. I was the epitome of carpe diem. Yet I wanted to seize more than just the day or even the moment or even the pleasure. I wanted to be in that joy I felt in my heart at the fleeting high-octane moments. I wanted to maintain that ecstatic peace of a soft smile and joy while my fire cat ways were painting the town red. Frankly, I wanted the high without the drug.
It wasn’t until I discovered the true union within myself by taking Initiation into the Sound Current on the Path of Soul Transcendence, that my raging fire became a steady and strong blaze of consequence. I became Focused. I began to live from my Inner Knowing. My decisions were made from a place of deep self-love and deep reverence for all of life.
This paradigm shift happened gently and steadily; within its gaze everything made sense. I was beaming in radiance. “When the eye is single the body is alight,” My Meditation Teacher, Dr. Roger B. Lane, quotes from the bible. Dr. Lane is a Sound Current Master and Teaches students how to directly be with the Soul within through the process of Initiation into the Sound Current on this Path. Dr. Lane is the Teacher and What He Teaches is inherent within us already. He points out and helps cultivate Who and What we really are – Soul.
More important and significant that having all the ovums I will ever have in my lifetime at the moment of birth is that the Soul within me was placed with me upon my first breath. Dr. Lane teaches us that life is, regardless of race, sex, background, financial scope, etc., meant for us to come to know ourSelves as the Souls that we are. This is why we are here. This is why we have every, single experience that we have. From lovers to car accidents, from family dramas to baby mamas, from the decade we were born in with its political climate to the way our bodies look. Through the process of Initiation into the Sound Current and being and Initiate we turn inward, not outward to love or sex or food, not backwards to our lineage or karmic history, but within. Within us there are realms that we can enter, alive and Awake with God-consciousness. All we have to do is allow our instrument to be Attuned to this magnificent Sound through the process of Initiation.
I live as such a blessed woman, beyond the dreams of my foremothers. I live the most precious, life-altering, mind-blowing, joy-defining ride and it is each-and-every-moment. I have discovered that my real heritage is as Soul; not as a body, or as a name, or as a face or part of a family tree. Or even as a sisterhood.
I am more than the sum of my parts and yet each of us is the same in Essence. We are all Soul. We are all made of the same material regardless of how our bodies look. Dr. Lane explains that we are made of the Sound Current or of the Word or of the Logos. I am not related to my foremothers. I am no longer carrying them nor their marvelous weight. I may have their crystalline blue eye color but my real relationship is with the Soul within me that is comprised of the same ‘material’ as the Soul within them. We are more than related. We are One. We are the Word.
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