Postpartum

Postpartum. This word has haunted me ever since I birthed my first child.  As much as I’ve wanted to welcome another Soul into this world and our family since my dear son I’ve been scared of the aftermath of birth.  I was not afraid of losing pregnancy weight or staying indoors for long stints with foggy baby brain or even sleepless nights but my terror was of the emotional ups and downs that I experienced after my son was born.  I remember not being able to see the world as I normally do and things seemed overwhelming.  It was like the world was constantly coming at me, a video game of attacking “to dos” that pop up from around every corner of domestic life and needing to be shot with instant reflexes of nursing, laundry, diaper-changing, cooking, cleaning, not showering, wearing hospital panties and much more on repeat.  I recall sobbing tears for no apparent reason and then being furiously angry at the people that I loved most dearly.  That was the most frightful part for me; I was as furious as a ball of fire.

Now I am three weeks postpartum with my second child, a beloved and beautiful daughter. And, yep, I have had most all the symptoms I short-listed above. And, true to my fear, the rage has been the hardest aspect for my family to digest and, sadly, for me to cease.It is not my normal personality and certainly not my intent but when my body is a furnace of hormones the words, “Can you please empty the diaper pail?” have such a seething tone that I sound like I’m about to detonate.Yet, there is something different this time and that’s why I write. There is a glimmer of hope that has sprung up like a spring within me. I’m allowing myself to be Loved more this time and I notice that I’m recovering quicker because of it. By this I mean, I’m more open-hearted and patient. I let myself be hugged and helped by my family but, most powerfully, I allowed this phenomenal, incredible Love that is my Meditation Teacher.

I’ve had the great Blessing of Dr. Roger B. Lane being my Meditation Teacher for a decade now and with That has come Transformational and life-changing Learning. This Learning continues to Lift me to new places within mySelf. For instance, I’m experiencing Peace regardless of the outer situations and positivity; i.e., focusing on what I’m thankful for, has become a real and actual Choice for me. I may not always Choose it; sometimes I am lazy and want to be in the murk and mire of emotional drama, but I have the ability at each moment to let it go and be different. That’s what I wanted to employ postpartum this time.

And the question in my heart that irked me and made me afraid if I could handle postpartum again with a second child was, “Am I capable of Choosing into using what I’ve Learned and be Neutral even when my body is a chemical factory and my hormones are blazing trails into every alleyway of my emotional well-being? Can I employ
Choice in these fire and brimstone moments? When I’m a real live Medusa?” This is the nut of which I was afraid.

Now three weeks have passed since our angel girl came into the world. I have been a straight-up nutter some of the time, I’m not going to lie. However, something purely magical happened amid the ordinary yesterday that changed the course of this pattern for me. My Beloved Meditation Teacher called me on the phone. Dr. Lane simply called because of noticing that I was having trouble understanding a project we were working on together. Dr. Lane asked if I was okay and I explained to my Teacher a little about the anger and rage I was experiencing and expressing. And here’s what happened: Dr. Lane simply said, “That is quite normal considering you just gave birth. It takes a little while for the hormones to subside. I’d let you know if you had a real problem.”

And with that poof! something huge was Lifted off of me. I could see straight and understood that this is a temporary state and I was moved into Acceptance. I felt compassion for mySelf and my family. Instead of judging mySelf as harshly as a snake witch I was able to see objectively that this is quite run-of-the-mill after giving birth to a baby and, all of a sudden, I was flooded with solutions to all of the “problems” I was experiencing. What really happened, sum total, is that Dr. Lane gave me an incredible Gift by Lifting from me, in that conversation, all the judgments I’ve had against mySelf. My Meditaiton Teacher is a Spiritual Master and is Graced with the incredible Power of Clearing karma for a Soul. And I gave mySelf the Gift of Allowing mySelf to be Loved by my Teacher.

L.O.V.E., as defined by Dr. Lane’s Teachings, is Letting go Of Volition Every time. Meaning, I surrendered my judgments on mySelf and Allowed the Spiritual Action of my Meditation Teacher calling me to wash over me. I let the Love in by Letting Go. And I was moved into a very different place. One of self- compassion. Hey, yep, the hours are long in the beginning while the body is recovering, the whole family is turned upside down with the addition of another precious child but it stabilizes; we can get some more help (for example, order dinner) and I’ll be back to me soon. How simple and objective these solutions are! It is because my sightlines were raised by my Letting Go and Allowing My Teacher’s clearing of my karma that I could actually see clearly. And it wasn’t just sight that was renewed. I had more energy; felt Peaceful; knew instantly how to renew myself physically and was also moved into a place of deep thankfulness for what I’ve received.

Two of life’s most precious Gifts: One, my children. Thank you; thank you, God. And the other is my Teacher and being His Child. Thank you; thank you, God.

Copyright 2019. Soundly Inc. All rights reserved.

Parenting From A Spiritual Perspective – The Only Example To Follow

In the 22-part Video/DVD Series entitled“Understanding The Spirit You Are” by Roger B. Lane, Ph.D., theFounder/Director of Cosmos Tree, there is a part of one Video/DVD that has stood out to me for over 15 years. And here it is:

In Video/DVD #7 entitled “Living The Truth” Dr.Lane tells us that “I have a beautiful, beautiful 15-year-old son and one of the things as a custodian of his that I’m bringing forward is for him to learn to listen to himSelf, to trust himSelf so if his friends are doing all sorts of things and they say ‘come on, you do it’!he listens to that voice inside …”

Dr. Lane goes on to explain that his son chose “to play basketball at a level of competition that was appropriate for him even though he would be leaving his friends behind … I’m really proud of the decision he made, which was to be true to himSelf and honor his abilities and not squash them and hide them but to develop them, not flaunt them but to develop them. … to have the strength of listening to yourSelf, your truth even if it means separating from your friends or your culture or your background. It’s a wonderful, wonderful gift he gave himSelf by listening to his truth that was within him.”

Here’s what parents in particular need to Learn from Dr. Lane’s wonderful Example of Proper Parenting:

Dr. Lane Teaches the Focus into Spirit, Which isOur Truth. Focusing into Spirit is Being Present. To be Present call in the Light Of The Most High by saying, “For the Highest Good Lord, God, send me Your Light!” Then ask the Lord, God for theHighest Good to give you the experience of being Present now!” Do This as often as needed! There are many Tools on cosmostree.org to help you do this including Tools For Living Free #87 titled “Being Present”

Dr. Lane Teaches parents in particular that they are custodians of their kids. They don’t own them; they are not “yours”; they belong to the Lord, God and you are given the Blessed Opportunity to Nurture them! Dr. Lane stays in This Truth as Dr. Lane speaks of Dr. Lane’s son. You need to do that, too! 

Dr. Lane enCourages his son to Listen to himSelf “despite the lack of outer validation.” You need to do that, too. I work with kids from ages 16-to-25 or so to help them find the jobs or internships that best fit their abilities/what they truly want to do. One-hundred percent of the time their parents, who are the ones who hire me, try to stop them. As Dr. LaneTeaches, that is what our families do because they do not want anyone to “leave them”; they want to maintain the status quo.

Finally, as I have also Learned from Dr. Lane asa Student, including from watching this revolutionary Video/DVD many times is that your kids will do as you do; they will model your actions. Teach your children to listen to themSelves by listening to yourSelf. Teach your kids to live in their Truth by living in yours. Teach your kids to honor their abilities by honoring yours. Teach your kids to be Present by Being Present yourSelf. Treat your kids with Neutrality, Kindness and Compassion as Dr. Lane recommends for all of us earlier in this Video/DVD by treating yourSelf that way inside yourSelf.

A great place to start is by using the Two-PartRelease Technique to let go of negativity as often as need be like this: call in the Light Of The Most High as noted above. Then ask the Lord, God for theHighest Good to take any negativity from you! Tell yourSelf, “(your name), it’sOK to let it go!” Then let it go! And repeat as often as you need to.

There is no “agenda” in Spirit; the only “agenda” is God’s agenda/Loving Him through the Focus into Spirit. Be There andBe with your kids with This Focus!

Start with this Video and blog! Practice Loving yourSelf inside yourSelf by following the Example in this Powerful TeachingTool featuring Dr. Lane and see what happens with your kids!

Click here to purchase the Video/DVD of “Living The Truth”

For further information on this blog, about our Services, reprint rights, media interviews or to have a Service brought to your area, please email info@cosmostree.org.

Copyright 2018. Soundly Inc. All rights reserved.

How to Stay Neutral In Stressful Situations

I think most would agree my life right now seems “stressful”. I’m eight months pregnant with my fourth child; just sold and packed up my house; and moved my family into my parents’ home while we wait to close on the new home we purchased. Did I mention that my brother and his family of four are also living with my parents while he waits to close on his new home? That’s 6 adults, 5 toddlers, a dog and baby on the way… It’s been hectic to say the least!

I’d like to share a few tips on how I use the Tools available through Cosmos Tree to remain Neutral through this situation. Tools that you too can use to find Neutrality in your life:

Are You “Projecting” Negativity Onto Your Kids? Here’s An Easy-To-Follow Guide To Help You Free YourSelf – And Your Kids!

Until I started working with Dr. Lane, the Founder/Director of Cosmos Tree, I had no idea what projection was or that I was “projecting” my “stuff” – negativity all – onto others. All the time. As Dr. Lane explains, “Whatever the consciousness is unconscious of it projects outside.”

Who Is The Lord, God?

Recently, my children have begun to wonder and ask questions about Spiritual Realities like “Who is God?”; “Who is Jesus?”; “What is Grace?”; etc. Despite the fact that I am a devout Initiate On The Path Of Soul Transcendence who spends much of her time Focused on the Spirit within and in Love and in Devotion to the Lord, God, I initially felt afraid I would not be able to answer these questions. How do I explain something in words that I know directly through experience so that it can be understood by children?

When Your Child is Sick

My child was recently in the hospital and, as scary as the situation was, I Received a wonderful lesson in Patience and Trust. It was an experience that will stay with me for a long time and the Compassion I gained is something that I would never trade! I saw how much profound and absolute Love surrounds each of us.

How to Boost Positive Parenting Using So-called “Dull” Moments: A Spiritual Approach

I recently wrote a Blog post focused on problematic parenting and its Spiritually-based solutions. It was inspired by my experience working at a psychiatric hospital with parents and their children where there were no “dull” moments: lots of crying, cursing, yelling and punching of walls that called for vigorous parenting. I wrote about our need as parents to deal in neutrality with difficult emotions in our children. Yet a new experience helped me refine what I had learned before about parenting. I was sitting in front of my computer, still making some corrections to that Blog Post, when my five-year-old came into the room and asked if she could watch another TV show. I don’t remember exactly how it went, but I picture myself moving my face towards her with my eyes still glued to the computer screen saying “yeah, yeah, yeah”. I remember my daughter moving quickly and quietly, butterfly-like, away from my desk, all too self-consciously. That is when I realized that parenting does not only happen during a “crisis”. These “dull” moments matter, too, maybe even more! Could this even be the secret to reaching no crisis at all? Likely!

What I Learned About Parenting at a Psychiatric Hospital

After several months providing family therapy in the adolescent unit of a psychiatric hospital I have come across some common denominators of problematic parenting that have taught me important lessons and changed my own parenting approach. Granted, children’s behaviors are not entirely in the hands of their parents; they have their own temperaments and, in the case of these patients, they may have what is labeled as a mental/physiological disorder; nevertheless, parents have great power in influencing their kids and their behaviors and this is key for creating more ease for both parents and children.

Choose Love Not War: Loving YourSelf and Others

Have you ever had the experience of “battling” with a loved one? Recently, I had been battling with my four-year old son. In the past month we moved into a new house and welcomed a second son into the family. I’m certain my four-year old’s behavior was due to all the change that had occurred in our family. To be honest, I was feeling some growing and adjusting pains, too. Even though I intellectually knew that my son was having a hard time adjusting and his unpleasant and even violent behavior was a result of this, when he started to push my buttons my response was to push back. We battled like this for about three weeks until finally I found a solution. It was, of course, Love.

The True Role Of A Parent

In the Fall of 2008, I began participating in Cosmos Tree Meditations and studying with Founder and Director, Dr. Roger B. Lane. At the time, I was married but did not have any children. I had no idea how much I did not know about mySelf or about being a parent. Before having children, I was certain that my own experience with my parents and the babysitting jobs I held throughout my life were preparation enough to raise my own. Blessedly for me, by the time I did have children I had a foundation of The Teachings that inform Cosmos Tree, Which every day assist me in being the best parent I can be by Teaching me how to be the Spirit that I am.