A Parent’s Lifeline: Nourishing the Soul

I had a dream recently where I was very happy and not really able to walk. I jumped freely everywhere I went, similar to the effortless way that my four-year old daughter does everyday. But I was not a little kid in my dream. I was the grown woman that I am today but I was skipping over sidewalks, playfully jumping up to touch any fun thing that hung several feet over my head. When I woke up, my dream very strongly reminded me of what was really true in my life. Nothing else seemed true that day. I had been lying on a hospital bed for a couple of days, tucked in by the IV bags to my left and vital signs machines to my right.

When people refer to dreams, they often distinguish them from their reality. They’d say “I had a dream that so-and-so happened but in real life so-and-so happened”. In a dream class I took, our Teacher, Dr. Roger B. Lane, would lovingly clarify to the students that it is not “…in real life…” but rather “…in waking life…” that “…so-and-so happened”. It is an important distinction that I learned there because my happiness that day, in my dream, was more nearly real than the misery and fear that I had been running in my waking life. That day my dream, in fact, was the only lucid thing trying to wake me up.

When I opened my eyes that morning I saw the absurdity of the consuming worry that I have carried for very long; especially, since becoming a mother. This is the same worry that might have sent me to the hospital two days before with a bleeding ulcer. It was a medical mystery given than I am actually healthy but I knew how much this summer I had indulged in my fears. At several points, I actually felt as if I were being ripped apart inside, which turned out to be, well, not a metaphor. The way it looked to me was as if I had been in the middle of a tug-of-war. On one end there was a profound concern to be near my kid and, on the other, a need to do something professionally that would demand more time away from my kid. I wish it had been as simple as choosing one or the other but I felt unhappy choosing just one. I wanted “the balance” and what I discovered was that looking for balance outside myself was impossible.

It seems very obvious now. If I was looking for an actual balancing tool I would never have chosen one whose foundation, its center, had been neglected. I looked outside myself for balance, adding a little to this side and a little to the other side until the weight was unbearable and the world started to look cruel, all because I had abandoned myself. Something many of us parents do.

Parents, we get a lot of advice out there; most of it involves parenting, obviously, but what really always surprises me is how often the person in the parent is forgotten. Reading all that parenting advice, I have often felt as if I am the only parent who desperately feels like a kid looking for a parent herself. Unsatisfied, I had to conclude that what I was looking for had nothing to do with parenting even though most of my concerns involved being a parent. Many times I thought “Why can I be addressed as a parent who is not really looking for another way to be a “good” parent but as someone looking for some answers about the experience of being a parent?!”

But I would like to take this point to a much more profound and useful place because forgetting “the person in the parent” is not really what we are doing: It is the Soul in the parent – actually, the Soul in everybody– That we forget. And the Soul is What needs to be remembered because That’s What’s inside! We look outside at the world as if we are going to find ourselves there when we can just look inside and start to get to know ourselves.

You may call the Soul something else; it does not matter. But It is That part of you that is made out of God – or Whatever you want to call It – that is you and It is me and That nourishes us unconditionally. The part of us that, when we have reached our breaking point or, like me, end up with an ulcer, gives us an Opportunity like my dream to remind me that, in reality, I am pure Joy. That’s the part that we need to remember. The Soul, Spirit, God, or whatever you want to call It, is really the parent who cares for us and It is also the “kid” that needs our care and this seeming dialectical relationship is simply that we are the Spirit. It is us meeting us because It is all inside.

So how do we nourish This? What I have learned from renowned Meditation Teacher, Dr. Roger B. Lane, is that we need to choose to give ourselves “the time of day” to practice moving our focus within and exercise the Spiritual Muscle. And as Dr. Lane says “… Don’t run after it; just open to It! Open to yourSelf and just see the Splendor, and the Love, and the Peace that waits there for you!” (from Tools For Living Free #79 “More On Love”)

Below are some recommended Tools to practice moving your focus within:

Attending Meditation at any Center at Cosmos Tree, Inc.
Listening to Dr. Roger B. Lane’s Podcast
Reading Tools For Living Free:
“The Nature Of The Soul Is Joy”
“Coming To Know Your Self As Spirit”
“The Spiritual Reality Of Man Kind”
“You Are Worthy”
“Dancing In Your Soulness”
“Using The Tool Of Gratitude”
-See complete list of readings here

For further information on this blog, about our Services, reprint rights, media interviews or to have a Service brought to your area, please email info@cosmostree.org.

Copyright 2016. Soundly Inc. All rights reserved.

How To Pray With Kids!

I’d like to share with you some easy ways to pray with children. One Prayer I do with my children is the “Blessing of the Food”, taught to me by Dr. Roger B. Lane, Founder/Director of Cosmos Tree. I Bless the food with my children before every meal. Sometimes my young ones join in and sometimes they just listen as I say It.

Here’s how to do It:
1. Call in The Light Of The Most High with your child by saying, “Lord, God, send us Your Light!”
2. Say together, “For The Highest Good, please Bless this food with the Light of Your Loving Presence.”
3. Pause for a moment while you and your family RECEIVE the Light Of The Most High and you experience Gratitude for the food you have!
4. Close by saying, “Thank you, Lord, God!” and En-Joy your meal!

Another Prayer that I do with my older child is the “Nighttime Prayer”. As a child, I remember using my nightly prayer, “Now I lay me down to sleep…” to say a rhyme and then ask for things that I wanted. In the Tools For Living Free #25 “Using The Tool Of Prayer”, Dr. Roger B. Lane says, “that’s fine, … but … many times we approach it like beggars.” Dr. Lane suggests another way to pray, “… a really positive way of working (it) is to approach God in the fullness of your Being as a Co-creator and with being Responsible.”

Dr. Lane teaches that being Responsible is the ability to RESPOND to the Spirit we are. How do we Respond to Spirit? As Dr. Lane says, “[by] Loving [the Lord, God], Serving Him, Choosing the Spirit we are, letting go of doubt, fear, pain, oppression each and every moment.” (TFLF #25).

A nice way to do that is through Gratitude. It is impossible to be in doubt, fear, pain when our Focus is in Gratitude. So, I’ve taught my daughter a prayer of Gratitude to do before she sleeps.

Here’s how to do it:
1. Call in the Light Of The Most High by saying. “Lord, God, send us Your Light!”
2. Ask your child what s/he is thankful for in his/her life. It can be anything your child feels gratitude towards.
3. Place all that your child is grateful for into the Light Of The Most High by saying, “Lord, God, send us Your Light! For the Highest Good, please Bless [name things child is grateful for]. Thank you, Lord, God for all of this!
4. You can say this along with your child until they become familiar with the prayer and don’t need prompting.
5. If there is something the child really wants or would like in his/her life, co-create it with the Lord, God by having the child say, “Lord, God, send us Your Light! For the Highest Good, please bring forward [whatever it is the child wants. Be specific.]
6. Then have the child “let it go” by saying, “[child’s name or whatever they call him/herself], it’s OK to let it go!”

As you Bless the food and say nighttime Prayers with your child, I Lovingly encourage you to also be in Gratitude for the many Blessings you have in your life!

For further information on this blog, about our Services, reprint rights, media interviews or to have a Service brought to your area, please email info@cosmostree.org.

Copyright 2017. Soundly Inc. All rights reserved.

How To Meditate With Kids

I Mediate daily with the Meditation Of The Light Of The Most High, taught by Dr. Roger B. Lane, the Founding Director of Cosmos Tree, and know the many physical, emotional, mental – and most importantly – Spiritual benefits of my practice. I would love for my children to benefit like I do from Meditation, but let’s face it! They are 5, 3, and 2 years old. I can’t even get them to sit quietly for 5 minutes, let alone hours!

Dr. Roger B. Lane advised me to start with a simple exercise for children. A precursor to the Meditation Of The Light Of The Most High, this exercise can help children to relax; practice quiet time; and to strengthen their ability to Focus.

Here’s how to do it:

1. Sit your child in a comfortable spot with his/her arms and legs uncrossed.

2. Call in The Light Of The Most High by saying, “For the Highest Good, Lord, God, send us Your Light! Thank you.”

3. Tell your child/children to close their eyes and take a deep breath completely relaxing themSelves!

4. Now tell them to pretend they have a nose in the middle of their forehead. Have them “breathe” in and out through this nose in their forehead. For my little ones I guide them by placing my finger on the center of their foreheads and say, “Here! Pretend the nose is here and breathe in and out!” Do this exercise for a short time at first – 10 seconds, 30 seconds, a minute – gradually increasing the time as they become accustomed to the exercise.

5. Note that while doing this exercise slow deep breaths relax your child but the focus of the exercise is not on the breath. Rather, the focus is on the “nose” in the middle of their forehead. By “breathing” here, your child is practicing “rising” above thoughts and feelings and placing his/her attention at Spirit.

6. As your child/children become accustomed to this exercise and are able to sit quietly for longer periods of time, you may add this important step to the process. Tell your child/children to say the word “HU” (pronounced like you) inside themselves while they breathe out of the nose in their forehead. HU is an ancient name of the Lord, God.

As Dr. Lane has often instructed, Meditation is a way to work one’s “Spiritual Muscle”. And, as with most exercises, practice and consistency strengthen the muscle. As I have worked with my children I’ve had varied responses (from uncooperative to cooperative). It is my Responsibility to stay Neutral and present the exercise as it is laid out. If we have a day where they are especially wiggly, I say to the kids, “OK, we’ll try again tomorrow.” And we do! As I continue to work with my children, it is a Joy to know they are growing Spiritually strong!

In addition, I’ve found that doing this exercise with them is an Opportunity for ME to Focus and let go of any judgments or expectations I may have (about them, about myself as a parent, etc.). It is a time for me to be completely Present and Loving with my children and to share with them the Love I have for the Lord, God.

Another wonderful exercise to practice with children is the Two-Part Release Technique, taught by Dr. Lane and often featured in the Tools For Living Free publication, offered by Cosmos Tree. I use this Technique frequently for myself, and have begun to use it with my children when they are exhibiting anger, frustration, fear, sadness, etc. This Technique allows you to release negative thoughts and feelings in order to live as the Spirit you are!

Here’s how to do it:

1. Call in The Light Of The Most High with your child by saying, “Lord, God, send us Your Light!”

2. Ask your child if s/he has any hurt, pain, anger, etc. (You may already know what your child is feeling. I usually do and will then point out the feeling to my children by saying, “You seem really angry/sad/frustrated. Let’s let that go!”)

3. Tell them to repeat after you, “Lord, God, for the Highest Good, please take this hurt/pain/anger (whatever is bothering your child) from me!

4. Then tell your child to let it go by having them repeat after you, “(child’s name or name by which s/he refers him/herself) It’s okay to let it go!”

5. Repeat this process as often as necessary!

Both of these exercises, when done consistently, assist you and your child/children in living a more Spirit-Focused, Light-filled, life!

For more Resources that are geared specifically for adults browse our Resources section of this site. Cosmos Tree has many Tools/Resources that help you to live free! Visit our Monthly Talks page for a complete list of MP3s for Guidance on every situation in your life! Also visit the Tools For Living Free page to read free publications that explain how to live Spirit-centered!

For further information on this blog, about our Services, reprint rights, media interviews or to have a Service brought to your area, please email info@cosmostree.org.

Copyright 2017. Soundly Inc. All rights reserved.

Stop Drinking! Start Meditating!

I am bored of the “mom stereotypes” that perpetuate social media these days. Scrolling through my Facebook feed, not a day goes by that I don’t see something about my “favorite” stereotype – moms and wine. Yesterday it was a meme that said, “kids are so expensive because of all the wine I have to buy…”

As a mom of three (almost four) children, I feel almost insulted by this stereotype. There seems to be a generally accepted notion that moms can’t “deal” without the aid of alcohol – or that life isn’t good until a glass of wine is in a mom’s hand.

Well, I am here to tell you that I not only “deal” with the responsibility of parenthood without the use of alcohol (I don’t drink or consume alcohol in any way) but that I have something even better to help me “cope” with parenthood. I have Meditation and The Teachings brought forth by Dr. Roger B. Lane, Founder and Director of Cosmos Tree, Inc. Through the Meditation technique taught at the Cosmos Tree Center in New York City and through the many Tools and Resources Cosmos Tree offers (many for free and available on the Web site) I not only am able to “cope” with being a mom – but I live my life freely, from a Spiritual Perspective. What does that mean for me? It means that I approach my family, my home, my responsibilities from a place of Gratitude and Neutrality. I live my life knowing I am Spirit and with that Focus I am Present in my life and able to fully experience its Joy.

For me, the experience of being truly Present – in the moment – knowing life is a gift that continually gives me Opportunities to surrender, learn, and grow is a far better “stress-reliever” than any alcohol-induced stupor I can imagine moms (and really everyone who drinks) want.

My second “favorite” stereotype that I see in mainstream media is the “mom’s weekend away”. This time away from family tends to include debauchery, wild nights, alcohol (of course), and a “who gives a shit – not me!” sort of attitude. Does this really happen? Are there moms out there taking these kinds of weekends away – and truly enjoying them?

I was away for the weekend recently. The entire weekend – Friday morning through Sunday night. Husband was home with the kids and I was on my own. It was lovely. My destination was the Cosmos Tree Center in New York City. While I relished the time by myself (at the airport sitting quietly; in a bathroom taking a shower without three screaming kids ALSO in said bathroom…) the highlight of my trip was being at the Center. There I sat in Meditation; listened to a Talk given by Dr. Lane that furthered my understanding of what it means to live as the Spirit I am; and spent time conversing, laughing, and caring with a group of like-minded and like-hearted people. I don’t live in New York City but I visit as often as I can. Dr. Lane and the offerings at Cosmos Tree and CRASS (Cosmos Tree’s sister organization) is why I go but the community there and the support I’ve found from these amazing people who live from a place of Loving Kindness is the cherry on top.

Moms, I beseech you! Put down your glass of wine! Read a Tools For Living Free, available on the Cosmos Tree Web site (for free) if you are struggling with something or feel like you are at your wits’ end. And then get yourself to the Center in New York City.

Whether you live in New York or not come to the Center! Meet Dr. Lane and the amazing community of people who frequent the Center! Meditate! De-stress! Know you are Spirit! I promise you, you won’t miss the wine.

For further information on this blog, about our Services, reprint rights, media interviews or to have a Service brought to your area, please email info@cosmostree.org.

Copyright 2016. Soundly Inc. All rights reserved.

Thanksgiving Gratitude

As a child, I remember the holidays being magical. There was the turkey; pumpkin pie; fancy dresses; loads of relatives; eating, eating and eating! As an adult, my experience of the holidays has been not that magical. There’s the turkey (to cook!); the pumpkin pie (calories!); dressing my own squirming children in fancy clothes (so many tiny buttons!); loads of relatives (making a mess at my house!) and all that eating, eating and more eating!

Last year my husband and I hosted Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and New Year’s Eve…for a plethora of family members ranging from a 1-year-old to a 90-year-old. The amount of food I prepared, served, and cleaned up, was staggering. While I hosted, I also cared for my three young children who were hyped up on excitement, sugar, late bedtimes, and way too many presents.

Did I feel stress? Of course I did! But through my work with Dr. Lane and Cosmos Tree I know what stress really is. Dr. Lane teaches that stress is when we go outside of ourselves and lose our Focus on the Spirit that we are. Because stress is a state that we place ourselves in, we have control over it and can Focus into Spirit if we choose. In other words, we have the power to be stress-free.

Cosmos Tree offers many Tools that assist in keeping a Focus on the Spirit that you are and on re-gaining your power to be free – stress-free, worry-free, anger-free, etc. I choose to use these Tools at the holidays and throughout the year to help me be the best I can be – even under circumstances that look extremely hectic to the outside world.

One such Tool that I use every Thanksgiving, is the Meditation Of Gratitude. It is available in-person at the Home Center in NYC and via teleconference for those that live 50 miles or more from the Center. It is, by far, my favorite part of Thanksgiving and I treasure the experience each year. Amidst the chaos of Thanksgiving morning – the baking and chopping, cleaning and organizing – it is approximately 20 minutes of time I give to mySelf to sit quietly while Dr. Lane’s voice guides me on a journey of deep appreciation of all that is in my life.

As Dr. Lane says in the life-altering book, The Money Workbook, “Being in gratitude means one is deeply appreciative of what one already has.” On Thanksgiving, I love to experience Gratitude fully, as a way to remind myself what the holidays are really about and to be Present with the Spirit I am.

To learn more about the Meditation Of Gratitude, and Its amazing benefits, I Lovingly encourage you to read the Cosmos Tree blog post “Meditation Of Gratitude” and to join us this Thanksgiving for the Meditation Of Gratitude hosted at the NYC Home Center. For those wishing to call-in via teleconference, please email info@cosmostree.org for complete details.

I’ll be calling in from the hotel room near my brother’s out-of-state home. We’ll be spending Thanksgiving with him and his family this year.

I hear he makes a delicious turkey dinner…

For further information on this blog, about our Services, reprint rights, media interviews or to have a Service brought to your area, please email info@cosmostree.org.

Copyright 2016 by Soundly, Inc. All rights reserved.

How To Find The Time To Give YourSelf The Gift Of Meditation

I am a parent of three young ones and I Meditate. Everyday. For hours. The reaction I most get is, “How do you find the TIME!?!”

How does one “find the time” for anything, really? Parenting, marriage, friendship, Service and Meditation – for me it boils down to Commitment. I “find the time” because I choose to. How do I feed my children healthful food instead of junk food? I commit to buying and preparing healthful food. It’s the same with Meditation.

I Commit to placing a priority on mySelf; on my well-being; on my Knowing that I am Spirit; on my being with the Spirit that I am and I create the time to exercise That. For me, placing a priority on mySelf is an Inward choice. It’s about aligning with the Spirit within me and keeping my Focus there rather than trying to “fit in” another “Do” on my “To Do” list.

Trust me, it is not always “easy”. My kids are sometimes up at 6am and awake until 8pm. There are meals to make; laundry to wash; toilets to scrub, etc. I have a lot going on, as most people do. So I start my day, sometimes as early as 4am, before the kids wake – with Meditation.

Commitment has to do with Loving. It is not outside mySelf; it is an inner process and a volitional process. I Love mySelf so much I wake at 4am to devote time to the practice I Love, which fills me with Peace, Joy, Love, Energy, and Balance. I know that through this practice I am a better parent – really a better person overall – and am able to “find the time” for ALL the things happening in my life that need my attention.

When I place my Focus on Spirit and give that to mySelf, time no longer exists. The day has ample time for me to accomplish all I set out to do and more. I “find the time” by making a choice, committing to mySelf, and Loving mySelf enough to follow through with that Commitment.

If you’d like to “find the time” to do and be more I Lovingly Encourage you to start by attending a Meditation at Cosmos Tree. Don’t worry! Most of the Offerings at Cosmos Tree are in the evening so you won’t have to wake as early as I do to participate! Meditation at the end of the day is a great way to de-stress after work or, like me, find some Inward “me time” after being at home with children all day!

Give yourSelf an hour and you will receive much more than “your time” back in return!

For further information on this blog, about our Services, reprint rights, media interviews or to have a Service brought to your area, please email info@cosmostree.org.

Copyright 2016 by Soundly, Inc. All rights reserved.

 

 

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