Many, if not most of us, are unconscious when we speak to others. One of these “unconscious” forms of communication is making “nice, nice”. For example, a friend of mine recently asked me to do her a favor and instead of simply asking me directly, she chose to flatter me over and over again before finally, finally asking for the favor. I knew it was a manipulation. It’s a lot like the example of a husband who tells his wife how much he loves her cooking, which can be a Loving and Clear communication, but it can also be a manipulation so that his wife continues to cook for him and to cook for him and to cook for him some more.